Funny Quotes

People don't usually regret doing something; they just regret getting caught.

If something personal cannot be fixed by duct tape or with a good night sleep, it's not worth fixing.

If your words say one thing, and your actions another, you're an asshole.

Sometimes telling someone 
to be himself or herself is the worst advice you can give to some people.

Alcohol doesn't turn you into something you're not, it just makes you forget to hide 
that part of yourself.

If you're going to be crazy, 
you might as well get paid 
for it or else you're going to 
be locked up.

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