Funny Quotes

If your words say one thing, and your actions another, you're an asshole.

Sometimes telling someone 
to be himself or herself is the worst advice you can give to some people.

Alcohol doesn't turn you into something you're not, it just makes you forget to hide 
that part of yourself.

If you're going to be crazy, 
you might as well get paid 
for it or else you're going to 
be locked up.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and it gives you 
a really good story to tell.

Don't play hard to get if you're already hard to want.

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