Funny Quotes

You don't have to be the fastest in most life-threatening situations, just don't be the slowest.

Never assume under any circumstances; because it 
will only make an ass out of 
U and ME.

An honest person is someone you could play checkers with over the phone.

Just because you are 
unique does not mean 
you are useful.

An optimist may see a light where there is none, but watch out for the pessimist who always rushes to blow it out!

To make a long story short, don't tell it.

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