Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

If you tickled me, I cannot be held responsible for any of your injuries.

There are no such things as 'bad friends'; you either have good friends, acquaintances or they're not a friend.

As soon as I get under 
the covers in my bed, all of today's responsibilities will become tomorrow's problem.

An important part of any best friend's job is to immediately clear your internet browsing history if you die.

Talking about a past love doesn't necessarily mean you're still hung up over it, 
sometimes it's just a 
reminder not to mess 
up again.

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